Lauren Clark Photography » Blog

My friend Ginny came Thursday to second shoot a wedding with Shari and they stayed with me and we stayed up WAY too late. We had to make a trip to Sugar Brown’s, my bro-in-law’s coffee shop, at least once, but more realistically, 3 times …before Sunday. She loves Sugar Brown’s so much that she bought a t-shirt last time and wore it there the first morning. I bought one with a boot on it and plan on wearing it in Las Vegas, we will be representing!

So tomorrow I leave for Vegas! I am about 210% more excited that last time I mentioned it. I was dreading it because I was feeling chubby and out of style, but now I’m feeling a bit more confident and way more excited! I realized that it didn’t matter if I was a tad bit chubby, it’s just a shell and no one really cares anyway.

I also found a cute belt and grey cardigan at Forever 21 for $20 and it just magically worked with all of my current clothes. So I might be stlyin’ a bit more than I thought, but be checking out my manure smellin’ cowboy boots each day, because I will be wearing them! I went out and brushed the horses for 45 minutes this afternoon and it worked it’s magic back into the boots.

By the way, would you like to know what my funny idea for WPPI is? I want to secretly photograph the ultra “famouses” like In Touch mag would and have a blog about how they “shop just like us” and “Eat hamburgers just like us”. I just blew my cover. Sheesh. So if you see me lurking behind a ficus tree, you know what I’m doing, shhhh.

Sunday I leave for the biggest get together of photographers that I know of… W P P I. I felt like spacing the letters out for dramatic effect. Wedding Portrait Photographers International. 10,000 photographers on the Las Vegas Strip for 1 whole week. S  C  A  R  Y (I double spaced those letters for double the drama).

The last time I went I was another budding photographer trying to get famous and sight see the real “Famouses” walking around the dining areas (oh LOOK! There is JASMINE STAR and DAVID JAY! Over there is JOHN COOPER! WOW! I wish I could be as cool as them!).

Fame seeking, sheesh, that was real awesome (sarcasm) and extra shallow of me. This time I’m going half way emberassed and nervous. What to wear, what to say? How not to blush and get sweaty pits in front of everyone. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. First day of junior high ALL over again. Good thing I was homeschooled in junior high and all I had to see was Magen and Chris.

I think I’m rambling from all of these kids sessions lately. I haven’t had a whole lot of communication besides with my dogs and my sad, sad, keyboard in the last 4 days.

Ok, back to Vegas. Last time I went to Vegas was 3 years ago. I hired a trainer and lost 10 pounds, tanned my face off and tried to be cooler than will I ever be. It was lame and I felt empty. This year, you will get chubby, frumpy me. I’m not going to try to put on a show, some awesome clothes that I will never wear again, and a false sense of security. My friend Ginny has been calling me frantic about the same issues, “What are you going to wear to WPPI and all the parties?!?”, as lame as it seems to you normal people out there, photographers turn into different animals at WPPI. They play the part, attend the parties and try to rub elbows with the best or at least get noticed somehow.  I told Ginny that I thought we should dress up real country. Overalls and cowboy boots., but then we would still be trying to get attention. Oh well, it’s a lose/lose unless you are just yourself. I hope to be just myself. Approachable and quirky, with a little bit of tongue tied mixed in.

Alright. So if you are coming and you bring it and dress up all awesome and make me feel like a loser, I will try not to be jealous of your cool clothes and nice hair:)

Come and meet me. Just as I am.

I will be in the Kelly Moore Bag/UNO/Get it Together Kit Booth at the tradeshow almost all day every day. I will need a card game or something to do.

Quick commercial: Don’t forget that my Photoshop tutorial DVD will be the cheapest EVER! $99 all week long starting Sunday on the website and at the tradeshow!

We have signed the contract on our house. It is done. No more showings, cleaning, vacuuming, stealing the dogs away, and praying for an offer.

We move into my mom’s rent house on March 20th, and close on our house on March 25th. One of the scariest things about the move was the time frame, I knew that if we didn’t sell the house in the winter then we would be moving during the BUSIEST time of the year for me, Senior season. And guess what? We are moving smack dab in the middle of senior season.

Ugh, My heart is slightly overwhelmed and slightly apathetic. I wanted to get packing, but my list of to dos is just too long to get my butt moving. Josh is making 2 week trips to Stillwater to clear the land, and I am left taking weeklong trips to sell UNO, plan workshops and teach workshops. My life is chaos. If I can just make it to June then I will almost be in the clear.

So at lunch today I decided to get the ball rolling, and pack the movie room. This is my most favorite room in the house, but also the smallest and easiest to pack. I have packed almost everything into boxes in the movie room and it hit me, we are moving out of this beautiful, big, NEW house. I was a little sad, but trying to focus on my new life in Oklahoma. This year will definitely be one of the toughest I will ever have, not only are we moving into 3 different houses this year (current house, rental in Lubbock, then rental in Stillwater), but I’m moving away from my family for the first time, and changing my business from weddings to kids. A WHOLE lot of scary is coming my way this year.

It’s going to be good though, I just know it, because this is what the Lord is leading us to do, and we must walk by faith and not by sight. I haven’t ever really had to do this before, but I know that  for those who LOVE the Lord, all things will work together for GOOD, and I’m looking for that good!!

So during this huge transition I’m asking for just a spoonful of grace from everyone. I will probably be even harder to reach by phone, I might look a little more frazzled, frumpy, chubby, and I might be so overwhelmed that I might cry, maybe not, but I will do my absolute best to keep up with all of my deadlines and duties.

Anyways, I felt like posting… again. My blog is just lighting up with posts lately, maybe it’s because I’m making up for the winter silence.  I have friends spending the night all week long and hopefully can keep the packing going while they talk to me.

Sheesh, look at all of these magazines.

Action movies. Boxes and Boxes of movies.

I am about to have a TON of posts! I would be much faster if my server wasn’t about to crash. For the last month or two we haven’t been able to get our server up to speed and it has been slowly sucking the life out of our computers! All three of us have only been able to work off of Josh’s Mac and it hasn’t been easy coordinating that, and luckily, my awesome computer guy is coming over Saturday to work on it all for us. Josh spent the day yesterday backing up everything onto another hard drive just in case it went kaput, and this left me with no access to anything recent to work on. I found some old DVDs from the Honduras photos we took and started adding them to a gallery in a website that I bought a long time ago for seniors. I am going to turn it into my kid’s photography website, so go and check out the gallery that I made from Honduras yesterday!

Here is the link.

Lots of work coming up!!

90 minutes with me at WPPI in Las Vegas next month talking to you about anything in photography is up for bid to raise money for Thirst Relief. Also included is a KELLY MOORE BAG in the color of your choice and a FREE COPY OF UNO DVD!!

Want to bid? Click here: http://members.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=thirstreliefinternational

If you win this bid and aren’t going to make it to Vegas then you can definitely call, come by or skype for it! We are in 7th place now! Keep bidding!

Last year I was able to participate in the Thirst Relief Auction to raise money to send clean water wells and clean water education to people around the world. I just happened to sell for above FULL price for a Brainwash and I do think that I was the only one to do that (uh oh! pride!:). Every year tons of photographers from around the world donate these mentor sessions and it is just an amazing thing to see how many resources are donated. It’s pretty cool.

So this year since I will be in Las Vegas to do the 90 minute mentor session with the highest bidder I want YOU to bid on me! Here is the link to read more about my auction and what all is included!

Josh just got home yesterday from his two week trip to Stillwater, Oklahoma to work on clearing our land and I am just ecstatic! I love my manly man! He knows how to use a chainsaw, build houses, do everything that I’m too dumb to figure out, and he loves me enough to live up there for 2 weeks every month and clear land for me. Thanks Josh. Here is the new pictures of the progress! Remember what it looked like before?

Everyone has gone to bed here in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and I have had a life change. No, really, a real life change… my business is going to directly reflect what has happened in my life tonight.

We were in our last time of talking about what the Lord had taught us this week and Maria declared that she is not going to become a photographer and another person was confirmed that he should become a pastor instead of the successful photographer that he was. That was shocking to me, that they would come to a photography retreat to hear us speak and then decide not to be photographers. I felt a stirring. I knew that the Lord was going to do something in my life this week but I didn’t realize how deep He would dig to uproot my fallow garden. He has started another phase of healing from my parent’s divorce, my pride in my marriage and completely revamping my business for a new season of passion for people and my job.

Did I mention that it’s completely revamping my business? Yes, dear readers, as Maria (love this girl) decided that everyone should pray over Erik, Ginny and I the Lord stirred in my heart and I felt it beat more than it ever has. He told me that I didn’t have to keep accepting weddings, that I could be finished as a wedding photographer. His peace covered me and a rush of  TRUST in Him for this decision immediately made it’s home in me. I knew right then that I had the answer I had been looking for. You see, I have had a year full of filling my life with the world, trying new things to fill my voids and getting rid of the interests just as fast as I find them, never fully satisfied and always wanting more. I have tried travel, success, movies, cooking, horse riding, painting, harmonica playing, working out, playing the wii, reading books, gardening, home decoration, chuck wagon cooking, and so many other hobbies and you know what? Revelation hit tonight and I knew that I have been searching because my life was feeling so empty. I was not honoring my husband as I should, digging a pit of worldly things and spending money to find happiness like no other desperate 24 year old that I’ve ever seen. All of that was met with a flood of peace tonight and immediately removed my fears.

So, I will no longer be accepting anymore weddings. I will passionately finish out the 32 I have booked with a new excitement that the light is finally at the end of the tunnel, and get this… I will become a children/family/senior photographer. Who would have ever thought that I would want to do that?!  God works in funny ways. Well, I have a new hope and passion for it, and  I can spend all of my Saturdays resting like the Lord intended, with my husband and family, and God will provide where I will fall short.  My life will have balance and purpose again. My burn out will recede and I will become all that God wants me to be.

So goodnight, for tomorrow I will wake up with new passion and purpose in life.

For The Love Workshop will rock your socks off if you are a Christian and a photographer. Do not doubt it. I have 24 people here who will tell you the same thing. Breakthroughs happen when people of like minds join together for a week seeking the heart of God.

Tonight we started off with dinner and worship here at For The Love, a christian retreat/photography workshop in Tennessee. As Ginny and her brother were singing I just closed my eyes: it was half out of pride and half because I didn’t know the words. I feel like the Lord gave me a vision when I had closed my eyes.

I saw a beautiful, colorful, high tower in a field and immediately knew what it represented.

My pride, in all of its loneliness and self-guarding attributes just keeping my spirit captive in the walls of its city.

Since my Dad blindsided me 6 years ago when he left my mom, I had decided never to trust anyone too much again, and I think this included not trusting the Lord fully ever again. It was Him, after all, who allowed this to happen to me and my perfect family. My christian “walk” since then has been guarded, but with only a tiny bit of surrender. I do not trust that the Lord will take care of everything, so I make sure that I’ve got it under my own control. I plan out all of the events in my life, how I can make them work and the backup plans for everything… there is minimal trust, but saying that you have it is a nice thought, you know. I then took on the role of the umbrella and provider for anyone in my family. I felt like someone had to fill the shoes that were left empty, and I knew that in my own strength I could accomplish it if I worked hard enough, got famous enough or was headstrong enough.

Tonight when I was seeing this tower in my head, it was really quite beautiful with different levels and colors sparkling and swirling. It was a masterpiece. I have built a tower of pride around myself, with very thick walls, to protect me from people who would hurt me and from the Lord’s scary, but never failing hand.

I have always known that I have tremendous pride, not necessarily in my photography, although there is some there, but mainly in knowledge, self- sufficiency and self preparation. Are you noticing all of the “Selfs”? Although I have known and will readily profess my pride to anyone who asks, I still haven’t wished them to pray for the Lord to break the walls of this fortress down. I am too afraid of what He will do. He could wreck my business and then I would be left with nothing, he could take someone away from me that is so precious, he could send me to a foreign country as a missionary and I would have to trust in Him every day to bring me the necessities of life. I have never asked Him to break down my walls, because I knew that He would, and that I would have to begin to TRUST Him again. He would break them down and come in and rescue me from my pitiful “self” sufficient self.

That is more scary than anything else I have ever been through. Tonight for the first time I asked the Lord to break down these city walls. My beautiful, safe, sparkly city and make me new.

My pride doesn’t want me to agree, but I know that if I trust in the Lord again, the spirit of fear and pride that haunts me daily and guards this city will evaporate and all that will be left is me as a weak, weak being.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

Send for Your light and Your truth, Lord, and break the bonds of pride in my life. Stir the waters of Bethesda and let me heal.

My bag tag fell off once the man delivered my bag, AA did come through with that service of bringing my bag an hour away to The Preserve after they lost it last night. I did pay $70 for it, so I’m glad it had a bit of personal service!

Self portrait.

Ginny’s mom and aunts have been cooking GREAT food all day long.

This is our rockin’ Super Bowl Party.

For The Love Workshop attendees will be picked up from the airport tomorrow!! More posts to come real soon. I miss my husband. I haven’t seen him in a week. He is up in Oklahoma clearing our farm land and I miss him. Hi Josh.

Can’t wait to see ya’ll tomorrow if you are coming to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee!!!!

Well this is the most cold, snowy winter in a long time. It seems like if it is warm for a few days it will surely be followed by a snow or ice storm. We were going to head to Oklahoma this weekend and work on the land until we realized we would get stuck there! I had to cancel my session and stay home, sitting in my pajamas like a kid with nothing to do. It’s not that I have nothing to do, I just don’t have very much to do. So my blog has sadly been neglected because I have nothing to show for myself these days. I have been trying to conquer the Super Mario Brothers game again, and reading book after book to pass the time since TV just isn’t cutting it for me lately. Last night I started on the Foxe’s Book of Martrys and it’s almost as hard to read as the Survival Guide I’ve been sloshing through. I have learned a lot while reading it, but it just isn’t easy reading you know? I mean you have to focus the whole time to try and learn these things about survival, I’ve bee going through with a highlighter and making notes on the most important parts. Oh well, Josh needs me to come and pick him up from the tire place.

ho hum. Anyone else bored lately?

Part 2: I’m back from getting out of the house for the first time in 3 days. I feel MUCH better after getting dressed and looking half way cute for the first time in probably a full month. Not seeing anyone new sure does make you lax on washing your hair and brushing your teeth, anyway, I thought it would be intersting to tell you some of the things I’ve learned in the survival book. I also have made an “inspiration” section on my website in the galleries that has a bunch of pictures of my family in it, and if you are bored then you should go and meet my family online. While looking through a ton of family pictures last night I realized that I haven’t printed a single picture for myself in probably 6 months, so that is my goal tomorrow night, to sit down and go through a ton of personal pictures and print them. Ok, back to the SAS guide…

1) REMEMBER you are only as sharp as your knife

2) When there is no water present you can put a plastic bag over a branch with leaves and tie something around it, and in the morning you will have some water in your bag.

3) If you are in a survival situation and don’t have any access to salt then you will need to drink animals blood (ewwww gross), for it is full of salt, minerals and vitamins.

4) Three fires are an internationally known sign of distress

5) When wet, cotton can loose heat up to 240 times faster than when dry, so keep dry!

6) Some prey animals can be attracted to you if you make a kissing noise on the back of your hand.

7) If all you eat in the wild everyday is Rabbit, then you will die of starvation. They lack fat and vitamins essential to man.

8 ) You can eat cattails (the plant, not the real kitty tail)

9) To keep warm at night you can place rocks in the fire all day and then bury them under some soil where you will sleep. The warmth from the rocks underground will keep you warm and dry.

10) You can make a needle magnetic by rubbing it in one direction against silk. No kidding! Then suspend it by a thread and use it as a compass.

Alright, now back to being bored by myself. Have a good day.

When London came home from the vet we were under the impression that she now has Addion’s Disease, a disease where her Adrenal glands have or are in the process of dying and they don’t produce the right hormones any longer. She was on her way to an Addisonian Crisis when the doctor thought to give her a steroid, I’m convinced that Dr. Jones saved her life right then. I have read that an Addisonian Crisis is terrible and can kill it’s victim within hours without the right Percotin shot and steroids. My poor baby will have to be on pills and shots the rest of her life, but she will have a normal life other than that if we keep a close eye on her.

I had such good hopes when we brought her home, she even wagged her a tail a little, which she hadn’t done since I took her in 5 days ago. When she got home she kept refusing to eat. She was probably down to 75 pounds (her normal is in the low 100’s) and her eyes were starting to sink into her skull. I was so stressed out that I spent all afternoon researching ways to get her to eat. One of the best resources to owning a Great Dane is the danesonline.com forum. There are some major dane owners/breeders/behaviorists on this website daily answering questions/reproving new owners of their mistakes and the daily debate about feeding absolutely RAW or regular kibble dog food. Check it out if you have a Dane. I have been a member since I bought Meridian 6 years ago.

While reading the searches on the forum I came across what people called Satin Balls. Sounds pretty strange and when I looked up the recipe it looked nasty! There were a ton of breeders and show dog owners who swore that it made them put weight on and have the shiniest coat ever. The scary thing to me was that it had raw eggs and uncooked beef in it. I thought I would give it a try since the fanatic dane owners had been doing it for years without any problems. I took off to United Supermarket with my long list of strange organic products and came home after exchanging them for $50! Wow, that was an expensive dog treat, but hey, I was already spending $986 on her treatment, so what’s $50?

I mixed the nasty ingredients and offered her some. She quickly licked it and the spit it out. Josh had an “I told you so” moment, but we gave her some time. Meridian on the other hand, “fatty” as we are calling her lately since she has probably put on 15-20 pounds since London has been declining to eat, was drooling for them. Seriously Meridian, you have got to go on a diet and quit eating London’s portion.

Anyway, I was still stressed all day until I was eating some Life cereal, I thought London would surely eat sugary kid cereal, and she did! It wet her appetite and she has been scarfing down wet dog food and Satin Balls anytime I am willing to feed her. I’m sure she will be back to being sleek and healthy in no time.

I thought I would share the nasty recipe with all of you dog lovers who are willing to try feeding RAW nastiness to your dogs as a good treat or to put a bit of weight back on them.

10 pounds of the cheapest hamburger meat, raw
1 jar wheat germ (I couldn’t find this so I left it out)
1 large box of oatmeal (uncooked, not the instant either) 
1 1/4 Cup vegetable oil or olive oil
10 raw eggs 
10 small package of flavorless gelatin 
1 1/4 Cup flavorless unsulphored molasses 
A pinch of salt 
1 large box Total cereal (2 lb)

Mix it all by hand and make into golf ball sized treats, bag and freeze them. I leave one bag thawed in the fridge and feed London a few at each meal. If you just want to give them as a treat only give up to 2 per day. I have read that it is so healthy that they won’t even go number two as much because their body absorbs all of the nutrients from them.

Just want to blog some of our first pictures of London, she is in the pet hospital now and the news just keeps getting worse.

First she has dropped 15 pounds in a few days, doesn’t want to eat or drink, is the most apathetic I’ve ever seen her, and now the doctor says she is showing signs of neurological damage. I am just beside myself today. We are willing to pay the $2K + vet bill, but losing my sweet dog is just too much to bear or even think about. London is my very favorite dog, the apple of my eye, she follows me from room to room and lays across me wherever I go. Please send up a prayer that she will be ok and have a full recovery. The doctor seemed like he was extremely worried about her this afternoon. He said she is going down hill very fast.

I don’t want to deal with loosing my favorite dog at only 3 years old, it’s just too young. I’m probably being a big cry baby on here, but I just can’t stop thinking about her and how terrible she looked when I went to visit her today. It was like she didn’t even know who I was, she just laid on the floor and quivered.

Some pictures that are making me cry (I guess I needed a good cry)

UPDATE! I talked to the vet this morning and London’s Barium (make her swallow chalky stuff and x-ray it to see if she has any blockage in her digestive system) test went well and nothing was wrong there. She seems to be walking better without the neurological symptoms and might be able to come home today!!

“Jesus Christ is the only one who deserves fame.”, my mission leader said to me while in Honduras last June. I was talking to her about all of the things that I was seeking; fame in photography, money, more things than the next person and happiness outside of the real source.

It struck me to the heart, and I was reminded of it just now. Are you seeking your own fame today?

Last night when I was out at the farm (Tim named it Aleene’s Stables) I saw the prettiest sunsets, and it made me realize how much I will miss the huge horizon once we move to Oklahoma. I think I will still be able to see great sunsets there, but not ones that I can see all the way to the ends of the earth. I love going out to the farm away from any media and just being in the great outdoors, even if it is barren and mildly ugly. I can’t wait to see what mom and Tim do to this old farmhouse. I hope I can decorate it for them one day.